The very first time I heard the term "friendly fire" was during the Persian Gulf War. It occurs when due to a mistake or misunderstanding soldiers from the same country or unit accidentally fire on their own soldiers instead of their enemies. It is not a willful act but something unintentional. The severity of the act determines the outcome.
At times "friendly fire" wounds or maims-at other times it kills. It is devastating to those involved as often they are plagued with relentless guilt. When there has been "friendly fire" there is a sense of loss that is not easily soothed.
There is an excellent example of "friendly fire" found in the Book of Job. Job was a righteous man who was blessed with family and great wealth. One day, messenger after messenger came to report one loss after another to him. Job ends up in sack clothes with ashes on his head as he mourns his lose deeply.
When "Mrs. Job" saw her husband sitting in the rubble with a shaven head and sores from head to toe she suggested that he stop worshiping God and curse Him and die instead. He of course had no intention of doing that. He looked for answers. He cried out to God for relief. He was sick and deeply grieved as a result of his losses but even in all of this Job was without sin.
Three of Job’s buddies heard about his plight, and traveling from their individual places of residence to mourn with Job and to comfort him. When they arrived and felt the grieving heart of their friend they sat down on the ground with him and did not speak a word for seven days. Though it was impossible for them to know the pain that their friend was experiencing still they were offering their silent support.
When Job began to lament his birth everything changed. Suddenly, these friends were full of questions, consultations, and judgmental notions. They went from being comforters to being sources of pain. Making assumptions without proper knowledge of Job’s relationship with the Lord they were certain that his losses were the result of sin. They went from showing pity to being pitiless and Job describes them as "miserable comforters."
I do not believe that these friends came with the intention of bringing Job more pain. They came because they cared and wanted to console him. Job did not have an immediate turn for the better so finally they decided to share their thoughts on the situation.
With each word spoken it seemed that Job incurred yet another wound. He already had lost it all in a manner of speaking, but now he felt alone as these three friends did not have a clue. They fired all kinds of spiritual ammunition at him. Instead of protecting and even getting into the trenches of battle they spoke words that caused further injuries and pain. All three were guilty of "friendly fire."
At times we are guilt of "friendly fire." We see a person go through something and initially we feel for them and want to bring them comfort until the situation has passed. When things do not turn around immediately we begin to question why…and that is where we often get into trouble. If we would only continue our "silent support" those who we know who are already suffering would not incur additional wounds or pain. We speak of things that we know nothing of---and there in lies the danger.
When we study the book of Job we often focus on the last chapter. We see that Job was restored by the Lord and given twice the amount that he had before. We often miss a very important verse though that leads up to that restoration. Job 42:10 says "And the Lord restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends."
The first part of Job’s restoration came when he prayed for his friends who really had not been very friendly at all. They fired shots in the form of accusations. They dropped bombs by doubting his reputation. The Book of Job is full of "friendly fire" but it also shows what can happen when we choose to forgive those who should have been comforting but wounded us instead.
Perhaps you are nursing wounds today. Instead of offering love and support, assumptions were made and judgment was passed on you instead. As you look for the same two fold restoration that Job experienced, do not forget that it did not begin until Job took his eyes off his misery and interceded for his friends. He followed the example of Jesus Who cried out to God while being crucified saying, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."
If you have experienced "friendly fire" recently during a time of loss and have yet to see signs of restoration begin to pray for all those who have wounded you with "friendly fire." Begin thanking Jesus for being "a friend that sticks closer than a brother." Begin to see that the hurt you have experienced was because of misunderstanding.
There is hope no matter what you have been through. God has a plan for restoration in you life. Your part in the plan is to obey the voice of God and to offer up prayers for your friends regardless of what they have said or not said---did or did not do.
Restoration is on the way. Do not delay it by holding grudges against people who really do love you whether they are able to communicate it or not.
